First Speech Therapy visit 04/15/15

     What a week for us! Monday was the first OT visit, and today was the first Speech Therapy visit.

     If you want to know why we added speech therapy some reasons are here  http://momlovesscifi.blogspot.com/2015/03/why-speech-therapy.html.

     A. who is the EI coordinator came with M. the Speech Therapist today.  My son just loves A. so much. He gave her a big hug again as his custom. We never met M. before so he was a little shy with her.

     Since this was the first visit M. told us what we would be doing today. She did not do a formal evaluation as my son is too young to really be able to evaluate. Also, given that he has been receiving services for a year now, she can base where he is based on the assessment of her coworkers.  In addition, the neurologist recommended her services.   She said she will do one later, unless I am really looking for her to asses him, but based on the background that she is aware of, we qualify for services so it is not really needed.  I told her I agree and we can do the official evaluation when she feels it is appropriate.  M. asked me what my primary goal is and I would like my son to identify at least one object. We are not shooting for the stars here, I like to set reasonable goals.  I would really just like to say, "Get the ball." for example and have him get it. Or at least look at it.  M. asked if he has had a hearing test and other than the one given at birth, no he hasn't.  She said she likes all her parents to get their children's hearing tested and gave me some numbers to do that.  A. did say that my son had a nasty ear infection last year and before that he had about 10-12 words he said. After the ear infection, he lost all his words. Actually, after the ear infection it was a source of major concern because my son lost all his skills. He wasn't walking yet, but he stopped crawling, he stopped being interested in a sippy cup, he had a major regression.  He had the flu earlier this year, and after he recovered, he didn't want to walk, he didn't want the sippy cup, and his language regressed even further.  M. suggested the hearing test will see if maybe he has fluid in his middle ear. She thinks he can hear fine, but if he has fluid in his ears, he may need tubes put in. Basically the fluid can alter how children hear sounds which affects language development.  She also wondered out loud (this is not her area) if fluid in the middle ear can be affecting his balance, if there is any, and that is why he doesn't want to walk after a sickness.

      A. read and played with my son while M. observed and asked questions. M. asked what toys my son likes to play with.  Basically he likes all the electronic toys, and all the other toys we have discussed here on this blog already. She also asked if he likes books. I told her he adores books. She said that is great.  She also asked how he interacts with other children. I told her that he doesn't even when he is around them.  She asked if there are any food textures he avoids and I told her not at all. He eats everything.

     I did ask her about television watching.  We only watch maybe two hours of children's television per day divided between Sesame Street, Daniel Tiger and Dinosaur Train.  The television doesn't hold his attention long and with all our appointments I try to get his play time in as more of a priority.  Also, now that the weather is nicer we go for walks in the mornings.  I basically wanted to know if television viewing is detrimental to a child with language delays and/or how to make less detrimental and what should we avoid.   She did answer my question, but first gave the disclaimer of not to add to his viewing habits based on what she said.  She also said that studies show children who learn from a traditional teacher and teacher on an electronic medium, like an I-Pad, the traditional teacher model is still more effective. I think that is interesting since so many schools want to veer away from traditional teaching.  Then she said shows like Sesame Street or Dora The Explorer actually use good language models since there is so much repetition and that is how we learn language.  She said to avoid shows like Curious George that the main character uses sounds not words.  She said except Curious George, most PBS shows are not detrimental to children with language delays.  Again, I am not using the TV as a babysitter, nor as the primary way for him to learn speech, I just use it for a little entertainment in the mornings when I am still waking up a bit.  She said music is a great way to learn language and some of her parents have enrolled their children in music classes. She also hinted that music classes would also be a way for my son to interact with other children.

    Speech therapy will occur three times a month.  Most of the visits will overlap with other services.
    For us to work on for next time, when reading, I am to point out some picture on each page and point to it and repeat what it is.  The hope is in time, he will point to that item when I say "Where is the x?".  Also, we are going to work on naming physical objects, like a ball or a cup.  So I will hold two objects, and name them, then ask him, "Where is the x?".

   I think this service is also going to help us greatly.

   

Open Letter to the Woman who Got Noticably Mad when my Husband used WIC checks at the Store

Dear Woman in Line Behind My Husband at the Store,

     Hello.  You don't know me, but you were shopping at Dave's Marketplace a few weeks ago.  My husband used WIC checks to pay for groceries for our two year old son. You sighed audibly,  rolled your eyes and grumbled.  I am so sorry that you were inconvenienced because he choose the same line you did.

    You see, it is actually my fault we are on WIC. I failed to research the high cost of daycare before I got pregnant. I did not realize daycare cost 1200 to 1700 per month, this does not include crib sheets (I needed six for the daycare alone) and food.  I was making about 1200 at my old job per month so you can see where this was a problem. Also, I worked about an hour commute from my apartment so I needed a daycare my son could stay late at, at an extra charge to me of course.   I actually got quite fortunate for a while. I found a daycare that was 980 per month.  Between the cost of daycare and gas, I netted about $25.00 per month for diapers and formula and with my commute I saw my son for about an hour a day. 

     I also needed to take about 5 days out of work per month for my son's various therapies and weight checks.  You see, his daycare was not in the state we live in so the program could not visit him at daycare.

     It was with a heavy heart that I had to resign from my job. I just could not afford to work. When the daycare closed, we could not at all afford a more expensive one which would have been our only choice.  I actually did look for several months for another job, but interviewers didn't believe that I loved my job, it was only due to daycare issues I needed a night job.  

     My husband was nice enough to get a second job, but I was the main bread winner.  I have been looking diligently for an evening or night job, but you see it is hard for a middle aged woman to switch careers.  Perhaps you are a hiring manager and can give me a job? I am quite a hard worker,  but I can only work evenings or nights so I can make all our son's appointments.

     It soon came down to paying bills or feeding our son. I can eat bread sandwiches but you see my son was so underweight we had the state sending a nutritionist out to the apartment.   The decision to sign up for WIC was actually hard. We budget but we just can't make ends meet. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to have to have people know you can't afford to feed your kids? Can you imagine how it would feel to have strangers judge you? Oh wait.....

     I am not asking for pity.   I have worked since I was 17. My husband has worked since he was 15. Has your life turned out exactly how you planned? Did you ever need someone's help? There are definitely people off worse than us and they don't want pity either.  They want the same as you, to be treated fairly.

     Again, I am so sorry that my husband choose to inconvenience you, but you see my husband didn't have time to tell you our story. It is really embarrassing having a store manager double check the groceries we are going to feed our two year to make sure we didn't select the wrong state approved foods.  

     The next time a parent inconveniences you in this manner,  think what would happen if you lost your job, or if your life changed in an unexpected way.  How would you feel if all you wanted to do was feed your child?

Thank you for your time,

Mom Loves Sci-Fi

Thoughts on this weekend's trip.

Hi everyone! Oh wow does it feel great to be home! How was everyone's weekend?

I wanted to share how our little weekend adventure went.

My step-father has two girls, L and J from a previous marriage. They live out of state and L has three children; a newborn boy, J.H. a girl who is 14 days older than my son and D a boy who is 8. J has three children as well; C a girl who is 18, M a girl who is 8, and J.M a boy who is 3.  L and her husband just had a baby and I wanted to go to to meet him and bring my son whom no one in their branch of the family has met yet.

My parents showed up with their RV around 9 am on Saturday. I let my little man sleep until they texted that they were on their way. When my parents arrived it was snowing so we quickly loaded up and went to our first stop; breakfast.  My son and I shared an omelet and homefries. When the food first got there he was so excited he tried to grab a fistfull of potatoes. Being the learn by example mother that I am, I let him do it. They were too hot and he started crying. This did teach him that maybe we needed to wait a bit and it will be ok.  I gave him a hearty portion and he decided all the food on the table was his. He reached far in his highchair and grabbed my stepfather's toast. We need to work on being grabby.

When breakfast was done, we got back in the RV. It is a five hour road trip to where we were headed so I was prepared for crabbiness, but he was really good. He slept most of the way up. I did bring a few books and one toy for him for the trip. He greatly enjoyed his books.

When we got to L's house she was holding the newborn. After I said my greetings, I attempted to point out the baby to my son. He glanced at the baby, my mom started saying something cute, then he ran past everyone into the living room. All the children, except C who was at work were in the living room, so I thought he would play with one of them. All the kids but D, who was having a bad day, tried to talk to my son. He ignored all of them.

J.H who is 14 days older than my son played like a toddler. She engaged in parallel play with her cousins, climbed on footstools and furniture, talked in actual words not all baby babble. She listened and responded to her parents and the other children. She played with toys like they are toys. She used toys for their intended purpose.

Inside, I was frustrated. Not with my son, but with myself. Obviously I am the worst parent ever. I know my son has limitations, but they are never as apparent as they are when around other kids. Instead of engaging with the children, my son busied himself with taking magnetic letters off the fridge and tossing them to the ground. Except for J, L and either M or W. Those letters he took turns walking around and babbling to. My son wore a path from the newborn's room, through the kitchen, around the living room, then back again.  What am I doing so horribly wrong that he won't even acknowledge the other children? He walks around our tiny apartment clutching things and babbling to them. I took him on this roadtrip to see his cousins. After all, aren't cousins our first friends? I kept trying to redirect him to play with the kids. I sat him on the couch next to J.H who was watching Dora and playing on a tablet. He sat there very confused. I pushed him in the path of the friendly J.M and he walked past him. M asked me if he could talk. I said he has his own way of talking but he likes to sing and dance. I showed M  his way of dancing and he liked it. M was his favorite of the kids. He "hugged" her a few times. His way of hugging is to touch you on the leg and gently press his forehead into you. I felt horrible because since he was ignoring the younger kids, they ignored him. They tried to engage him, but he blew them off. I really would have felt better if they were mean to him, or teased him, or excluded him. They really tried to play with him. How I have failed him. I don't ever view his behavior as his behavior, I view it as me being a terrible mom. Obviously other kids his age who don't live with me are fine. He would not have delays if he had a better mother. Maybe it is those four days I missed my prenatal vitamins. Maybe its that 3 ounces of beer I had when pregnant. Maybe it is because I ate too many carbs, got gestational diabetes. It was the high blood sugar coursing through his veins in utero.  I made him this way. Yes, these are irrational thoughts. I know that on one level, but on another level, this is what my brain tells me at night when I am alone with my thoughts.

When J.H. was climbing on the footstool, and jumping off, my mother made a comment that my son would imitate her. I was so hopeful that he would. He doesn't climb yet, another area his is behind in.  He ignored her. The only attention he paid her was at some point, they had a baby babble conversation, a few lines back and forth. They also took turns following each other a little bit. Watching him with her though, it was not like watching two kids that were two weeks apart, it was like watching a 2 year old with a 9 month old. Her skills are where they should be.

My son did engage a little with L. She sat on the floor and read to the kids. She has medium/long hair and my son stroked it gently. He walked all around her several times caressing her hair.

I hope we can keep working on his skillset to help bring him to where he should be. This is too hard for me to handle sometimes. At least he is happy. He had a blast walking around by himself with the letters. His contentment is the most important thing.

I feel that he might have autism.  My mother has been reading books by Temple Godin and pacing is a way for autistic children to calm themselves down, to center themselves.  He also has low muscle town, which is a characteristic of autistic children.

I love my little guy more than I can ever put into words. He is my whole world.  I know he has some shortcomings, but to me that is his charm. When he looks at me and smiles, he is the most perfect little guy who ever lived. I just hope one day he chooses to let more people into his world of one.

I will continue to post about our journey.