What a week for us! Monday was the first OT visit, and today was the first Speech Therapy visit.
If you want to know why we added speech therapy some reasons are here http://momlovesscifi.blogspot.com/2015/03/why-speech-therapy.html.
A. who is the EI coordinator came with M. the Speech Therapist today. My son just loves A. so much. He gave her a big hug again as his custom. We never met M. before so he was a little shy with her.
Since this was the first visit M. told us what we would be doing today. She did not do a formal evaluation as my son is too young to really be able to evaluate. Also, given that he has been receiving services for a year now, she can base where he is based on the assessment of her coworkers. In addition, the neurologist recommended her services. She said she will do one later, unless I am really looking for her to asses him, but based on the background that she is aware of, we qualify for services so it is not really needed. I told her I agree and we can do the official evaluation when she feels it is appropriate. M. asked me what my primary goal is and I would like my son to identify at least one object. We are not shooting for the stars here, I like to set reasonable goals. I would really just like to say, "Get the ball." for example and have him get it. Or at least look at it. M. asked if he has had a hearing test and other than the one given at birth, no he hasn't. She said she likes all her parents to get their children's hearing tested and gave me some numbers to do that. A. did say that my son had a nasty ear infection last year and before that he had about 10-12 words he said. After the ear infection, he lost all his words. Actually, after the ear infection it was a source of major concern because my son lost all his skills. He wasn't walking yet, but he stopped crawling, he stopped being interested in a sippy cup, he had a major regression. He had the flu earlier this year, and after he recovered, he didn't want to walk, he didn't want the sippy cup, and his language regressed even further. M. suggested the hearing test will see if maybe he has fluid in his middle ear. She thinks he can hear fine, but if he has fluid in his ears, he may need tubes put in. Basically the fluid can alter how children hear sounds which affects language development. She also wondered out loud (this is not her area) if fluid in the middle ear can be affecting his balance, if there is any, and that is why he doesn't want to walk after a sickness.
A. read and played with my son while M. observed and asked questions. M. asked what toys my son likes to play with. Basically he likes all the electronic toys, and all the other toys we have discussed here on this blog already. She also asked if he likes books. I told her he adores books. She said that is great. She also asked how he interacts with other children. I told her that he doesn't even when he is around them. She asked if there are any food textures he avoids and I told her not at all. He eats everything.
I did ask her about television watching. We only watch maybe two hours of children's television per day divided between Sesame Street, Daniel Tiger and Dinosaur Train. The television doesn't hold his attention long and with all our appointments I try to get his play time in as more of a priority. Also, now that the weather is nicer we go for walks in the mornings. I basically wanted to know if television viewing is detrimental to a child with language delays and/or how to make less detrimental and what should we avoid. She did answer my question, but first gave the disclaimer of not to add to his viewing habits based on what she said. She also said that studies show children who learn from a traditional teacher and teacher on an electronic medium, like an I-Pad, the traditional teacher model is still more effective. I think that is interesting since so many schools want to veer away from traditional teaching. Then she said shows like Sesame Street or Dora The Explorer actually use good language models since there is so much repetition and that is how we learn language. She said to avoid shows like Curious George that the main character uses sounds not words. She said except Curious George, most PBS shows are not detrimental to children with language delays. Again, I am not using the TV as a babysitter, nor as the primary way for him to learn speech, I just use it for a little entertainment in the mornings when I am still waking up a bit. She said music is a great way to learn language and some of her parents have enrolled their children in music classes. She also hinted that music classes would also be a way for my son to interact with other children.
Speech therapy will occur three times a month. Most of the visits will overlap with other services.
For us to work on for next time, when reading, I am to point out some picture on each page and point to it and repeat what it is. The hope is in time, he will point to that item when I say "Where is the x?". Also, we are going to work on naming physical objects, like a ball or a cup. So I will hold two objects, and name them, then ask him, "Where is the x?".
I think this service is also going to help us greatly.
Showing posts with label parent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parent. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
First Occupational Therapy Visit 04/13/15
Mom fail, I completely forgot OT was coming yesterday. We went for a nice long walk, ate a late lunch and then my friend called. I was putting him down for a nap and chatting with my friend when someone knocked on the door. It was A. the Early Intervention coordinator. I was kinda surprised and let her in and then she said C. the COTA was on her way and should be here shortly.
While A. and I were waiting for C., we discussed my son's weekend. Friday we went to the park with a friend and her daughter who is roughly six month older than my son. He engaged in some parallel play but was far more interested in the wood chips on the ground than the little girl. We did try the slide, but he wanted to lay down, not sit so I went down with him. He was laughing his head off. We tried the swings but it got bad fast so we stopped that. Saturday he went to the park with my husband while I scanned 173 old photos for a family tree project. He just wanted to walk around mostly. Sunday, we went to the park as a family. He loved the slide, but the swing he is now deathly afraid of.
When C. arrived, we discussed my son's history with A. My son walked around, picking up a toy, looked at it, tossed it, repeatedly. We have the Fisher Price Stride to Ride Puppy and my son played with that and one of those wooden activity cubes. He also played with this A's help.
(image from ebay)
A. read him The Very Hungry Caterpillar about four times. My son loves turning pages and after each reading he would just sit and turn the pages.
C. and I discussed my son's sleeping habits. C. suggested giving him milk before bed as opposed to at supper which I meant to try last night, but fell asleep my self and messed up his night time routine. (I have been not feeling well at all for the last two weeks.) C. also suggested writing down my son's schedule and scheduling in two snacks a day.
We also discussed the sensory issues my son has. I discussed the terror inducing swing experience of this weekend. C. suggested taking my son to the park and having him help me push and empty swing to get used to how it works. She also said taking a toy and putting it in the swing and showing him nothing bad happened to it. She also suggested us sitting together on a regular swing and slowly working up to swinging together. We also discussed bath time. My son shrieks in terror while having a bath. I am not using hyperbole. It is not the whiny cry kids use when they don't like something, it is full on blood curling shrieking and howling. He clutches at you when you try to bath him and he tries to angle every part of his body out of the water. She asked what temperature bath he gets and if we adjust it. We have tried everything from freezing to lukewarm baths. She asked if we adjust the depth of the water. We have tried from a tiny puddle up to enough to float boats around the tub in an effort to make him play in the bath. It didn't work. She suggested not filling the tub prior putting him the water. She said put him in an empty tub and then put the faucet on. She also suggested showering with him, or turning the shower on when he is taking a bath. I will try all her suggestions and write about how things go.
We also discussed me playing hand over hand with him, which I already do. We discussed our weekend with his cousins and she suggested I play with the kids to try to engage my son. I told her I did that. I got on the floor and played with the toys with the kids to show my son how much fun it was, but he walked away. I told her we do hand over hand play with all his toys but when he is done playing with something, he is done. I showed her a sensory box we have:
She said this is a good sensory puzzle. Instead of getting rid of it, we will keep it now.
All in all this was a great visit, I think working with C. is going to help us a lot.
While A. and I were waiting for C., we discussed my son's weekend. Friday we went to the park with a friend and her daughter who is roughly six month older than my son. He engaged in some parallel play but was far more interested in the wood chips on the ground than the little girl. We did try the slide, but he wanted to lay down, not sit so I went down with him. He was laughing his head off. We tried the swings but it got bad fast so we stopped that. Saturday he went to the park with my husband while I scanned 173 old photos for a family tree project. He just wanted to walk around mostly. Sunday, we went to the park as a family. He loved the slide, but the swing he is now deathly afraid of.
When C. arrived, we discussed my son's history with A. My son walked around, picking up a toy, looked at it, tossed it, repeatedly. We have the Fisher Price Stride to Ride Puppy and my son played with that and one of those wooden activity cubes. He also played with this A's help.
(image from ebay)
A. read him The Very Hungry Caterpillar about four times. My son loves turning pages and after each reading he would just sit and turn the pages.
C. and I discussed my son's sleeping habits. C. suggested giving him milk before bed as opposed to at supper which I meant to try last night, but fell asleep my self and messed up his night time routine. (I have been not feeling well at all for the last two weeks.) C. also suggested writing down my son's schedule and scheduling in two snacks a day.
We also discussed the sensory issues my son has. I discussed the terror inducing swing experience of this weekend. C. suggested taking my son to the park and having him help me push and empty swing to get used to how it works. She also said taking a toy and putting it in the swing and showing him nothing bad happened to it. She also suggested us sitting together on a regular swing and slowly working up to swinging together. We also discussed bath time. My son shrieks in terror while having a bath. I am not using hyperbole. It is not the whiny cry kids use when they don't like something, it is full on blood curling shrieking and howling. He clutches at you when you try to bath him and he tries to angle every part of his body out of the water. She asked what temperature bath he gets and if we adjust it. We have tried everything from freezing to lukewarm baths. She asked if we adjust the depth of the water. We have tried from a tiny puddle up to enough to float boats around the tub in an effort to make him play in the bath. It didn't work. She suggested not filling the tub prior putting him the water. She said put him in an empty tub and then put the faucet on. She also suggested showering with him, or turning the shower on when he is taking a bath. I will try all her suggestions and write about how things go.
We also discussed me playing hand over hand with him, which I already do. We discussed our weekend with his cousins and she suggested I play with the kids to try to engage my son. I told her I did that. I got on the floor and played with the toys with the kids to show my son how much fun it was, but he walked away. I told her we do hand over hand play with all his toys but when he is done playing with something, he is done. I showed her a sensory box we have:
She likes this because everything has a different texture. She suggested mixing up what is in it. Adding tissues and scarves for example. I am going to do this several times a week. I will add/subtract items. On her way out she saw this puzzle in a stack of toys I want to get rid of
All in all this was a great visit, I think working with C. is going to help us a lot.
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Open Letter to the Woman who Got Noticably Mad when my Husband used WIC checks at the Store
Dear Woman in Line Behind My Husband at the Store,
Hello. You don't know me, but you were shopping at Dave's Marketplace a few weeks ago. My husband used WIC checks to pay for groceries for our two year old son. You sighed audibly, rolled your eyes and grumbled. I am so sorry that you were inconvenienced because he choose the same line you did.
You see, it is actually my fault we are on WIC. I failed to research the high cost of daycare before I got pregnant. I did not realize daycare cost 1200 to 1700 per month, this does not include crib sheets (I needed six for the daycare alone) and food. I was making about 1200 at my old job per month so you can see where this was a problem. Also, I worked about an hour commute from my apartment so I needed a daycare my son could stay late at, at an extra charge to me of course. I actually got quite fortunate for a while. I found a daycare that was 980 per month. Between the cost of daycare and gas, I netted about $25.00 per month for diapers and formula and with my commute I saw my son for about an hour a day.
I also needed to take about 5 days out of work per month for my son's various therapies and weight checks. You see, his daycare was not in the state we live in so the program could not visit him at daycare.
It was with a heavy heart that I had to resign from my job. I just could not afford to work. When the daycare closed, we could not at all afford a more expensive one which would have been our only choice. I actually did look for several months for another job, but interviewers didn't believe that I loved my job, it was only due to daycare issues I needed a night job.
My husband was nice enough to get a second job, but I was the main bread winner. I have been looking diligently for an evening or night job, but you see it is hard for a middle aged woman to switch careers. Perhaps you are a hiring manager and can give me a job? I am quite a hard worker, but I can only work evenings or nights so I can make all our son's appointments.
It soon came down to paying bills or feeding our son. I can eat bread sandwiches but you see my son was so underweight we had the state sending a nutritionist out to the apartment. The decision to sign up for WIC was actually hard. We budget but we just can't make ends meet. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to have to have people know you can't afford to feed your kids? Can you imagine how it would feel to have strangers judge you? Oh wait.....
I am not asking for pity. I have worked since I was 17. My husband has worked since he was 15. Has your life turned out exactly how you planned? Did you ever need someone's help? There are definitely people off worse than us and they don't want pity either. They want the same as you, to be treated fairly.
Again, I am so sorry that my husband choose to inconvenience you, but you see my husband didn't have time to tell you our story. It is really embarrassing having a store manager double check the groceries we are going to feed our two year to make sure we didn't select the wrong state approved foods.
The next time a parent inconveniences you in this manner, think what would happen if you lost your job, or if your life changed in an unexpected way. How would you feel if all you wanted to do was feed your child?
Thank you for your time,
Mom Loves Sci-Fi
Saturday, April 4, 2015
Since there is no writing prompt on weekends, here is what we did today.
http://www.valleybreeze.com/2014-07-23/cumberland-lincoln-area/monastery-trails-are-treasure-heart-town#.VSBs2fnF8wM
I grew up in Cumberland, RI and do not live that far from there now. One of my favorite things to do was to walk on the grounds of the Cumberland Library. The library now sits on the former site of a monastery that burned down in 1950. The town converted the ruins to house a playground, and walking trails.
When I was younger there were horses and one of the walking trails had "exercise stations". Sadly, the horses are gone and most of the exercise stations have disappeared.
There is a bit of history in the woods as well. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nine_Men%27s_Misery
I do have to say I know nothing about this war. I do have a very exciting looking scholarly tome that talks in depth about the war, but I haven't gotten to it in my reading pile yet.
When I was younger, my mother used to take me and my brothers there in the summer and we were allowed one VHS movie each week. This was such a treat. I am eight and ten years older than my brothers and most of the movies we owned were "baby" movies. Of course, I was not allowed to rent say "Hellraiser" but this afforded me the opportunity to see movies that I would enjoy more than say watching "101 Dalmatians" for the 5555th time. ("101 Dalmatians" is a fine film. But when you are 12 and you have watched it so many times you realize that Pongo has about four more spots than Perdita and you can recite the whole movie because you watched it 4 times a day for the past five years, it grates on you.)
When my husband and I started dating, I took him walking on some on the longer trails. Now, it is a solo experience. I used to take my dog, but she had to have back surgery and can no longer do the trails. I love walking for hours deep into the woods. It is so incredibly peaceful. You actually can walk out to a point where you cannot hear cars or see houses. It is so therapeutic to leave your phone behind and just walk with your water bottle and enjoy clean air. I cannot wait to take my son out on some of the shorter trails this summer. You can see rabbits and turtles, which for a kid who lives in the city, are pretty exotic. I have never seen deer, but you can hear animals running away from you as you walk and I imagine deer are watching us.
This is where we went today. I was hoping we could actually walk, but there is a storm brewing off Cape Cod that made it quite windy in Cumberland today.
Instead we went to the Cumberland Library. Well, first we went to the Friends of the Library Bookstore. We got quite a good haul.
I grew up in Cumberland, RI and do not live that far from there now. One of my favorite things to do was to walk on the grounds of the Cumberland Library. The library now sits on the former site of a monastery that burned down in 1950. The town converted the ruins to house a playground, and walking trails.
When I was younger there were horses and one of the walking trails had "exercise stations". Sadly, the horses are gone and most of the exercise stations have disappeared.
There is a bit of history in the woods as well. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nine_Men%27s_Misery
I do have to say I know nothing about this war. I do have a very exciting looking scholarly tome that talks in depth about the war, but I haven't gotten to it in my reading pile yet.
When I was younger, my mother used to take me and my brothers there in the summer and we were allowed one VHS movie each week. This was such a treat. I am eight and ten years older than my brothers and most of the movies we owned were "baby" movies. Of course, I was not allowed to rent say "Hellraiser" but this afforded me the opportunity to see movies that I would enjoy more than say watching "101 Dalmatians" for the 5555th time. ("101 Dalmatians" is a fine film. But when you are 12 and you have watched it so many times you realize that Pongo has about four more spots than Perdita and you can recite the whole movie because you watched it 4 times a day for the past five years, it grates on you.)
When my husband and I started dating, I took him walking on some on the longer trails. Now, it is a solo experience. I used to take my dog, but she had to have back surgery and can no longer do the trails. I love walking for hours deep into the woods. It is so incredibly peaceful. You actually can walk out to a point where you cannot hear cars or see houses. It is so therapeutic to leave your phone behind and just walk with your water bottle and enjoy clean air. I cannot wait to take my son out on some of the shorter trails this summer. You can see rabbits and turtles, which for a kid who lives in the city, are pretty exotic. I have never seen deer, but you can hear animals running away from you as you walk and I imagine deer are watching us.
This is where we went today. I was hoping we could actually walk, but there is a storm brewing off Cape Cod that made it quite windy in Cumberland today.
Instead we went to the Cumberland Library. Well, first we went to the Friends of the Library Bookstore. We got quite a good haul.
Some of the books are for me. Wilkie Collins and Agatha Christie are for me to pour over and relish. I figured he can "grow into" The Little Prince, Bridge to Terabithia and Trumpet of the Swan. The Golden Fleece is to fuel his imagination. The Paddington book of course, is for now. No book is over a dollar and they have quite a good selection of books.
Walking around the library was more of a chore than it should have been. He decided after the bookstore that we were kinda done. I knew that I wanted to read some Kate Morton books so I took all they had. We went to the children's section where I selected, Is Your Momma a Llama, Daddy Kisses, and What's Wrong Little Pookie (I love you, Sandra Boynton). My son was going to get a DVD, although the library still has a healthy selection of VHS tapes, I want to restrict use on my VCR. I don't know if I can still buy head cleaner for it. At the moment I tried to shepherd him over to the movies, he spotted some table toys for kids. He thought grabbing Lego bricks and hurtling them to the floor was a fun activity so we had to cut our visit short.
We actually go to the library a lot. We try to go every three weeks because that is how long you can take out books for. I like that in the winter it is a safe, quiet place that my son can walk around. We just haven't been to the Cumberland Library in a while because it was a nasty winter and we have libraries closer to the house. Do you take your children to the library?
Monday, March 30, 2015
Thoughts on this weekend's trip.
Hi everyone! Oh wow does it feel great to be home! How was everyone's weekend?
I wanted to share how our little weekend adventure went.
My step-father has two girls, L and J from a previous marriage. They live out of state and L has three children; a newborn boy, J.H. a girl who is 14 days older than my son and D a boy who is 8. J has three children as well; C a girl who is 18, M a girl who is 8, and J.M a boy who is 3. L and her husband just had a baby and I wanted to go to to meet him and bring my son whom no one in their branch of the family has met yet.
My parents showed up with their RV around 9 am on Saturday. I let my little man sleep until they texted that they were on their way. When my parents arrived it was snowing so we quickly loaded up and went to our first stop; breakfast. My son and I shared an omelet and homefries. When the food first got there he was so excited he tried to grab a fistfull of potatoes. Being the learn by example mother that I am, I let him do it. They were too hot and he started crying. This did teach him that maybe we needed to wait a bit and it will be ok. I gave him a hearty portion and he decided all the food on the table was his. He reached far in his highchair and grabbed my stepfather's toast. We need to work on being grabby.
When breakfast was done, we got back in the RV. It is a five hour road trip to where we were headed so I was prepared for crabbiness, but he was really good. He slept most of the way up. I did bring a few books and one toy for him for the trip. He greatly enjoyed his books.
When we got to L's house she was holding the newborn. After I said my greetings, I attempted to point out the baby to my son. He glanced at the baby, my mom started saying something cute, then he ran past everyone into the living room. All the children, except C who was at work were in the living room, so I thought he would play with one of them. All the kids but D, who was having a bad day, tried to talk to my son. He ignored all of them.
J.H who is 14 days older than my son played like a toddler. She engaged in parallel play with her cousins, climbed on footstools and furniture, talked in actual words not all baby babble. She listened and responded to her parents and the other children. She played with toys like they are toys. She used toys for their intended purpose.
Inside, I was frustrated. Not with my son, but with myself. Obviously I am the worst parent ever. I know my son has limitations, but they are never as apparent as they are when around other kids. Instead of engaging with the children, my son busied himself with taking magnetic letters off the fridge and tossing them to the ground. Except for J, L and either M or W. Those letters he took turns walking around and babbling to. My son wore a path from the newborn's room, through the kitchen, around the living room, then back again. What am I doing so horribly wrong that he won't even acknowledge the other children? He walks around our tiny apartment clutching things and babbling to them. I took him on this roadtrip to see his cousins. After all, aren't cousins our first friends? I kept trying to redirect him to play with the kids. I sat him on the couch next to J.H who was watching Dora and playing on a tablet. He sat there very confused. I pushed him in the path of the friendly J.M and he walked past him. M asked me if he could talk. I said he has his own way of talking but he likes to sing and dance. I showed M his way of dancing and he liked it. M was his favorite of the kids. He "hugged" her a few times. His way of hugging is to touch you on the leg and gently press his forehead into you. I felt horrible because since he was ignoring the younger kids, they ignored him. They tried to engage him, but he blew them off. I really would have felt better if they were mean to him, or teased him, or excluded him. They really tried to play with him. How I have failed him. I don't ever view his behavior as his behavior, I view it as me being a terrible mom. Obviously other kids his age who don't live with me are fine. He would not have delays if he had a better mother. Maybe it is those four days I missed my prenatal vitamins. Maybe its that 3 ounces of beer I had when pregnant. Maybe it is because I ate too many carbs, got gestational diabetes. It was the high blood sugar coursing through his veins in utero. I made him this way. Yes, these are irrational thoughts. I know that on one level, but on another level, this is what my brain tells me at night when I am alone with my thoughts.
When J.H. was climbing on the footstool, and jumping off, my mother made a comment that my son would imitate her. I was so hopeful that he would. He doesn't climb yet, another area his is behind in. He ignored her. The only attention he paid her was at some point, they had a baby babble conversation, a few lines back and forth. They also took turns following each other a little bit. Watching him with her though, it was not like watching two kids that were two weeks apart, it was like watching a 2 year old with a 9 month old. Her skills are where they should be.
My son did engage a little with L. She sat on the floor and read to the kids. She has medium/long hair and my son stroked it gently. He walked all around her several times caressing her hair.
I hope we can keep working on his skillset to help bring him to where he should be. This is too hard for me to handle sometimes. At least he is happy. He had a blast walking around by himself with the letters. His contentment is the most important thing.
I feel that he might have autism. My mother has been reading books by Temple Godin and pacing is a way for autistic children to calm themselves down, to center themselves. He also has low muscle town, which is a characteristic of autistic children.
I love my little guy more than I can ever put into words. He is my whole world. I know he has some shortcomings, but to me that is his charm. When he looks at me and smiles, he is the most perfect little guy who ever lived. I just hope one day he chooses to let more people into his world of one.
I will continue to post about our journey.
I wanted to share how our little weekend adventure went.
My step-father has two girls, L and J from a previous marriage. They live out of state and L has three children; a newborn boy, J.H. a girl who is 14 days older than my son and D a boy who is 8. J has three children as well; C a girl who is 18, M a girl who is 8, and J.M a boy who is 3. L and her husband just had a baby and I wanted to go to to meet him and bring my son whom no one in their branch of the family has met yet.
My parents showed up with their RV around 9 am on Saturday. I let my little man sleep until they texted that they were on their way. When my parents arrived it was snowing so we quickly loaded up and went to our first stop; breakfast. My son and I shared an omelet and homefries. When the food first got there he was so excited he tried to grab a fistfull of potatoes. Being the learn by example mother that I am, I let him do it. They were too hot and he started crying. This did teach him that maybe we needed to wait a bit and it will be ok. I gave him a hearty portion and he decided all the food on the table was his. He reached far in his highchair and grabbed my stepfather's toast. We need to work on being grabby.
When breakfast was done, we got back in the RV. It is a five hour road trip to where we were headed so I was prepared for crabbiness, but he was really good. He slept most of the way up. I did bring a few books and one toy for him for the trip. He greatly enjoyed his books.
When we got to L's house she was holding the newborn. After I said my greetings, I attempted to point out the baby to my son. He glanced at the baby, my mom started saying something cute, then he ran past everyone into the living room. All the children, except C who was at work were in the living room, so I thought he would play with one of them. All the kids but D, who was having a bad day, tried to talk to my son. He ignored all of them.
J.H who is 14 days older than my son played like a toddler. She engaged in parallel play with her cousins, climbed on footstools and furniture, talked in actual words not all baby babble. She listened and responded to her parents and the other children. She played with toys like they are toys. She used toys for their intended purpose.
Inside, I was frustrated. Not with my son, but with myself. Obviously I am the worst parent ever. I know my son has limitations, but they are never as apparent as they are when around other kids. Instead of engaging with the children, my son busied himself with taking magnetic letters off the fridge and tossing them to the ground. Except for J, L and either M or W. Those letters he took turns walking around and babbling to. My son wore a path from the newborn's room, through the kitchen, around the living room, then back again. What am I doing so horribly wrong that he won't even acknowledge the other children? He walks around our tiny apartment clutching things and babbling to them. I took him on this roadtrip to see his cousins. After all, aren't cousins our first friends? I kept trying to redirect him to play with the kids. I sat him on the couch next to J.H who was watching Dora and playing on a tablet. He sat there very confused. I pushed him in the path of the friendly J.M and he walked past him. M asked me if he could talk. I said he has his own way of talking but he likes to sing and dance. I showed M his way of dancing and he liked it. M was his favorite of the kids. He "hugged" her a few times. His way of hugging is to touch you on the leg and gently press his forehead into you. I felt horrible because since he was ignoring the younger kids, they ignored him. They tried to engage him, but he blew them off. I really would have felt better if they were mean to him, or teased him, or excluded him. They really tried to play with him. How I have failed him. I don't ever view his behavior as his behavior, I view it as me being a terrible mom. Obviously other kids his age who don't live with me are fine. He would not have delays if he had a better mother. Maybe it is those four days I missed my prenatal vitamins. Maybe its that 3 ounces of beer I had when pregnant. Maybe it is because I ate too many carbs, got gestational diabetes. It was the high blood sugar coursing through his veins in utero. I made him this way. Yes, these are irrational thoughts. I know that on one level, but on another level, this is what my brain tells me at night when I am alone with my thoughts.
When J.H. was climbing on the footstool, and jumping off, my mother made a comment that my son would imitate her. I was so hopeful that he would. He doesn't climb yet, another area his is behind in. He ignored her. The only attention he paid her was at some point, they had a baby babble conversation, a few lines back and forth. They also took turns following each other a little bit. Watching him with her though, it was not like watching two kids that were two weeks apart, it was like watching a 2 year old with a 9 month old. Her skills are where they should be.
My son did engage a little with L. She sat on the floor and read to the kids. She has medium/long hair and my son stroked it gently. He walked all around her several times caressing her hair.
I hope we can keep working on his skillset to help bring him to where he should be. This is too hard for me to handle sometimes. At least he is happy. He had a blast walking around by himself with the letters. His contentment is the most important thing.
I feel that he might have autism. My mother has been reading books by Temple Godin and pacing is a way for autistic children to calm themselves down, to center themselves. He also has low muscle town, which is a characteristic of autistic children.
I love my little guy more than I can ever put into words. He is my whole world. I know he has some shortcomings, but to me that is his charm. When he looks at me and smiles, he is the most perfect little guy who ever lived. I just hope one day he chooses to let more people into his world of one.
I will continue to post about our journey.
Friday, March 27, 2015
EUREKA!!!
Today for lunch, I made my son a simple meal. It was just spinach, tomato, and chicken nuggets. I put him down so he could hand feed himself the majority of the meal. When he was down to just little pieces, I got a spoon. As is our routine, I gave him the spoon to see what he would do with it.
HE PUT IT IN THE BOWL, GOT FOOD ON IT AND FED HIMSELF WITH THE SPOON!!!
This is a huge breakthrough. I am overjoyed with this progress. It was hit or miss, sometimes he didn't get food on the spoon, sometimes the food was too far back in the spoon for him to get it in his mouth, but practice makes perfect. He is 23 months and this is the first time he did this.
We have been doing hand over hand with utensils for about a year now. I can't wait to tell EI and OT what he did today!
HE PUT IT IN THE BOWL, GOT FOOD ON IT AND FED HIMSELF WITH THE SPOON!!!
This is a huge breakthrough. I am overjoyed with this progress. It was hit or miss, sometimes he didn't get food on the spoon, sometimes the food was too far back in the spoon for him to get it in his mouth, but practice makes perfect. He is 23 months and this is the first time he did this.
We have been doing hand over hand with utensils for about a year now. I can't wait to tell EI and OT what he did today!
Monday, March 16, 2015
Physical Therapy 3/16/15 as well as another positive development.
The last time T. the Physical Therapist was here, she gave me some things to work on.
1. My son "W-sits". He has low muscle tone so he sits like this :
(This is not my son. This is just a Google image)
I was told to correct this.
2. My son doesn't like to feed himself. This is another developmental issue we are working on. I don't mean feeding himself with utensils, I mean he doesn't like feeding himself with his hands. I am to encourage self-feeding.
3. My son has low muscle tone so I was to think of ways to encourage him to use his muscles by making him move in unexpected ways. The example she used was having him sit on pillows and then he would have to use his leg muscles to balance.
When T. came today we had lots to talk about. Since her last visit, we visited friends who have a sunken living room. My son learned that by putting his hands on the step in front of him, he could climb up the stairs. This used problem solving and helped used muscles. He has been eating the majority of his lunches by himself. Today I made him chicken nuggets, celery bites, avocado and tomato slices for lunch. He usually picks out the chicken and makes me feed him the veggies, but today he ate it all by himself. To work on balance and muscle tone, last week I took him outside and held his hands and had him walk over our slushy, icy backyard. She had only positive feedback and agreed it is hard to think of a lot of outside winter activities for a toddler for pt purposes but soon we will be going to playgrounds for pt.
T. then played with my son. I got him this Melissa & Doug puzzle at a yardsale:
This puzzle is great for him because it develops fine motor skills and language. They played with the puzzle and then she pointed to the cat and asked him what it was. His response? "meeo". Like "meow". This is the first time ever my son made an association. We both stared at him, then I started clapping. Then he kind of looked at T. and said it again like she should totally know that its a cat.
Then T. and my son read a Bob the Builder counting book. She is really pleased with his progress.
We discussed how we only have a year left of early intervention and then she planned a visit for April. I will share how that visit goes as well.
1. My son "W-sits". He has low muscle tone so he sits like this :
(This is not my son. This is just a Google image)
I was told to correct this.
2. My son doesn't like to feed himself. This is another developmental issue we are working on. I don't mean feeding himself with utensils, I mean he doesn't like feeding himself with his hands. I am to encourage self-feeding.
3. My son has low muscle tone so I was to think of ways to encourage him to use his muscles by making him move in unexpected ways. The example she used was having him sit on pillows and then he would have to use his leg muscles to balance.
When T. came today we had lots to talk about. Since her last visit, we visited friends who have a sunken living room. My son learned that by putting his hands on the step in front of him, he could climb up the stairs. This used problem solving and helped used muscles. He has been eating the majority of his lunches by himself. Today I made him chicken nuggets, celery bites, avocado and tomato slices for lunch. He usually picks out the chicken and makes me feed him the veggies, but today he ate it all by himself. To work on balance and muscle tone, last week I took him outside and held his hands and had him walk over our slushy, icy backyard. She had only positive feedback and agreed it is hard to think of a lot of outside winter activities for a toddler for pt purposes but soon we will be going to playgrounds for pt.
T. then played with my son. I got him this Melissa & Doug puzzle at a yardsale:
This puzzle is great for him because it develops fine motor skills and language. They played with the puzzle and then she pointed to the cat and asked him what it was. His response? "meeo". Like "meow". This is the first time ever my son made an association. We both stared at him, then I started clapping. Then he kind of looked at T. and said it again like she should totally know that its a cat.
Then T. and my son read a Bob the Builder counting book. She is really pleased with his progress.
We discussed how we only have a year left of early intervention and then she planned a visit for April. I will share how that visit goes as well.
Proud Moment
With my son having developmental delays, he reaches milestones after children his age. He will be 23 months on March 19th.
Dressing him has never been fun. Every morning I put a shirt on him and if it goes over his head, he fights and screams. He likes to suck his fingers so he cries when you take his fingers out of his mouth to put his arm in the sleeve. He tries to twist away fron you and pull back his arm.
There has been a recent development to putting on shirts. For the past month, he has tried to push his arms through the sleeves himself. He was having some success until it came to his thumb. He could get most of his hand through, but he splayed his fingers so the thumb always got stuck in the sleeve. He would panic and cry then try to push his hand out so he could suck his fingers, but his hand stayed stuck which made him panic more. It made for a very stressful 5 seconds.
A week ago, he figured out by accident how to get his hand all the way through his sleeve. He smiles when he sees his hand come through and he knows he did it. I am so glad for this little bit of progress. It isn't about when he catches up to me, but that he is making progress.
Friday, March 13, 2015
I'm back!
Holy cow. It has been way, way too long.
Sorry for the long absence.
So just to bring everything up to speed, here's what happened. I was working at a job that is about two hours from my house. I pretty much only was home for six hours a day. Last June, I quit my job due to daycare being crazy expensive. Since then, my son has been seeing a physical therapist, a nutritionist, and Early Intervention. Turns out my son has low muscle tone, and developmental delays. We have also had ear infections, flus, vomiting viruses and many other sicknesses.
I don't plan on taking such a long absence again.
I actually want to jump right into things.
So I want to change the focus of the blog a teeny, tiny bit. I want to start sharing what its like having a child with developmental delays and talk about his therapy as we go through this. I still want to talk about other parent things, and pop culture things, but I really need an outlet to discuss what is going on.
What prompted all of this was at his 3 month checkup he could not hold his head up very high. He could hold it up, but not high. At his six month checkup he wasn't rolling and he had a hard time sitting up. We had an Early Intervention evaluation, and he scored pretty high so no services were sought. At eight months, he could not hold his own bottle, and he wasn't crawling. The pediatrician sent us back to Early Intervention. At 10 months he could finally hold his own bottle. After several months of hard work, at 15 months he started to crawl. I cried. He laughed and looked at me like I was nuts and crawled like a pro for the rest of the day. Shortly after this, he started Physical Therapy. After much more hard work, at 21 months, he stood up and walked. And walked and walked. I was speechless. Now we approaching the two year mark and he is not talking so we are going to start speech therapy shortly. We have seen a neurologist who also recommended Occupational Therapy.
It is very frustrating because I never know what is working, and what is not. I never know what is getting through to him, and what is just frustrating him. He would scream like he was being tortured when I was trying to get him in the crawling position, but when he was ready, he just took off. The walking was the same. He would sometimes walk if I held his hand or hands, but he would scream and cry. I thought for a while he was in physical pain because of this. I would not take him on long walks either, just from the living room to the changing table or from the living room to the high chair. Then, one day at my mother's house, he stopped playing with his toys, stood up, and walked the length of her house.
Another specific challenge I would like to share is the transition to sippy cups. This was another stage that would make me weep. We owned a great variety of sippy cups to help ease the transition. We also did not even attempt to transition until crawling started. When you first gave him the cup, he would scream. This evolved to screaming and then throwing the cup. This is how we lost our first sippy cup. RIP Munchkin sippy cup. Eventually, he would raise the cup to his mouth, but would let the liquid within pour down his face and chest requiring a complete outfit change. Finally at 21 months, we somehow put it all together. He drank from the cup! This is where frustrating comes in. I know its hard to transition,but having a kid with developmental delays means we don't like change. It takes hard work to see progress and its normally many months in coming.
I will continue to talk about this ongoing. If you have any questions, feel free to comment below. Or if you are going through the same thing, or went through the same thing, I would like to hear about it, if you want to share.
To change topics...........I recently saw Frozen.
Just a quick rant, I do not boycott or dislike Disney. I do however feel that they were on the right track with Old Yeller and Bambi. Sometimes bad things happen. This is life. I really like fairy tales and The Little Mermaid, though sad actually has a point. You can't force people to like you and don't change who you are to achieve that end. I have not seen the animated Disney version, but I hear it does not end with Ariel becoming sea foam. The Hunchback of Notre Dame is a very dark gothic novel that explores love, lust, desire, envy, and greed. It has a very touching ending after a thrilling climax. Once again, I have not seen the animated version, but I hear that Esmeralda and the Hunchback are not found with skeletons entwined in the catacombs years later. I have not seen an animated Disney movie in a very long time but I heard Frozen was the one to watch.
I like how this is not a typical "one day my prince will come story". Of course its there and its actually sad to me how "ordinary" Anna needs a husband that badly. Being ordinary is extraordinary! There is nothing like the adventures one can have on one's own, especially at 18. I like how its about family relationships, reminiscent of Pixar's Brave.
However, it felt rushed. It is not a short movie, but I felt that the story was almost forced. The musical numbers are not spread out, they are mushed together in the first half of the story. I felt it would have been a lot more enjoyable if it had focused more on animation and story.
While I am reviewing things, I would like to briefly review Ready Player One by Ernest Cline and The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield.
Ready Player One is like if someone scooped up all of pop culture from the late 70's to the early 90's and made a video game out of it, and then played that video game in a dystopian future. Literally that is the what the book is. I highly recommend this book to everyone everywhere.
The Thirteenth Tale is a wonderful story crafted by a master storyteller. The protagonist works in her father's bookstore and is asked to write the truth about a reclusive author. The book takes place in England but does not specify the year or decade in which it takes place. This gives the book a very timeless feel. This book I recommend to people who enjoy stories. It is a ghost story without a ghost. It is a love story between twins. I loved this book.
Before I go for the day...........I wanted to share a recipe.
My son is a toddler and I try very hard to make him eat nutritious foods. I am a SAHM now and I really don't want every lunch to be peanut butter.
In an effort to shake things up a bit, yesterday I opened up a can of black beans, sauteed a quarter of a yellow onion, cut up four celery stalks, diced a tomato, added some frozen chicken stock (recipe and tips coming soon), added powdered garlic, and tossed in some cheddar cheese and heated it all up on the stove. I squeezed fresh lime over the soup and my son was laughing and smiling while eating it. It was cheap and easy to make.
I promise it won't take two years for me to write again because this is fun :) I hope to be back early next week.
Sorry for the long absence.
So just to bring everything up to speed, here's what happened. I was working at a job that is about two hours from my house. I pretty much only was home for six hours a day. Last June, I quit my job due to daycare being crazy expensive. Since then, my son has been seeing a physical therapist, a nutritionist, and Early Intervention. Turns out my son has low muscle tone, and developmental delays. We have also had ear infections, flus, vomiting viruses and many other sicknesses.
I don't plan on taking such a long absence again.
I actually want to jump right into things.
So I want to change the focus of the blog a teeny, tiny bit. I want to start sharing what its like having a child with developmental delays and talk about his therapy as we go through this. I still want to talk about other parent things, and pop culture things, but I really need an outlet to discuss what is going on.
What prompted all of this was at his 3 month checkup he could not hold his head up very high. He could hold it up, but not high. At his six month checkup he wasn't rolling and he had a hard time sitting up. We had an Early Intervention evaluation, and he scored pretty high so no services were sought. At eight months, he could not hold his own bottle, and he wasn't crawling. The pediatrician sent us back to Early Intervention. At 10 months he could finally hold his own bottle. After several months of hard work, at 15 months he started to crawl. I cried. He laughed and looked at me like I was nuts and crawled like a pro for the rest of the day. Shortly after this, he started Physical Therapy. After much more hard work, at 21 months, he stood up and walked. And walked and walked. I was speechless. Now we approaching the two year mark and he is not talking so we are going to start speech therapy shortly. We have seen a neurologist who also recommended Occupational Therapy.
It is very frustrating because I never know what is working, and what is not. I never know what is getting through to him, and what is just frustrating him. He would scream like he was being tortured when I was trying to get him in the crawling position, but when he was ready, he just took off. The walking was the same. He would sometimes walk if I held his hand or hands, but he would scream and cry. I thought for a while he was in physical pain because of this. I would not take him on long walks either, just from the living room to the changing table or from the living room to the high chair. Then, one day at my mother's house, he stopped playing with his toys, stood up, and walked the length of her house.
Another specific challenge I would like to share is the transition to sippy cups. This was another stage that would make me weep. We owned a great variety of sippy cups to help ease the transition. We also did not even attempt to transition until crawling started. When you first gave him the cup, he would scream. This evolved to screaming and then throwing the cup. This is how we lost our first sippy cup. RIP Munchkin sippy cup. Eventually, he would raise the cup to his mouth, but would let the liquid within pour down his face and chest requiring a complete outfit change. Finally at 21 months, we somehow put it all together. He drank from the cup! This is where frustrating comes in. I know its hard to transition,but having a kid with developmental delays means we don't like change. It takes hard work to see progress and its normally many months in coming.
I will continue to talk about this ongoing. If you have any questions, feel free to comment below. Or if you are going through the same thing, or went through the same thing, I would like to hear about it, if you want to share.
To change topics...........I recently saw Frozen.
Just a quick rant, I do not boycott or dislike Disney. I do however feel that they were on the right track with Old Yeller and Bambi. Sometimes bad things happen. This is life. I really like fairy tales and The Little Mermaid, though sad actually has a point. You can't force people to like you and don't change who you are to achieve that end. I have not seen the animated Disney version, but I hear it does not end with Ariel becoming sea foam. The Hunchback of Notre Dame is a very dark gothic novel that explores love, lust, desire, envy, and greed. It has a very touching ending after a thrilling climax. Once again, I have not seen the animated version, but I hear that Esmeralda and the Hunchback are not found with skeletons entwined in the catacombs years later. I have not seen an animated Disney movie in a very long time but I heard Frozen was the one to watch.
I like how this is not a typical "one day my prince will come story". Of course its there and its actually sad to me how "ordinary" Anna needs a husband that badly. Being ordinary is extraordinary! There is nothing like the adventures one can have on one's own, especially at 18. I like how its about family relationships, reminiscent of Pixar's Brave.
However, it felt rushed. It is not a short movie, but I felt that the story was almost forced. The musical numbers are not spread out, they are mushed together in the first half of the story. I felt it would have been a lot more enjoyable if it had focused more on animation and story.
While I am reviewing things, I would like to briefly review Ready Player One by Ernest Cline and The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield.
Ready Player One is like if someone scooped up all of pop culture from the late 70's to the early 90's and made a video game out of it, and then played that video game in a dystopian future. Literally that is the what the book is. I highly recommend this book to everyone everywhere.
The Thirteenth Tale is a wonderful story crafted by a master storyteller. The protagonist works in her father's bookstore and is asked to write the truth about a reclusive author. The book takes place in England but does not specify the year or decade in which it takes place. This gives the book a very timeless feel. This book I recommend to people who enjoy stories. It is a ghost story without a ghost. It is a love story between twins. I loved this book.
Before I go for the day...........I wanted to share a recipe.
My son is a toddler and I try very hard to make him eat nutritious foods. I am a SAHM now and I really don't want every lunch to be peanut butter.
In an effort to shake things up a bit, yesterday I opened up a can of black beans, sauteed a quarter of a yellow onion, cut up four celery stalks, diced a tomato, added some frozen chicken stock (recipe and tips coming soon), added powdered garlic, and tossed in some cheddar cheese and heated it all up on the stove. I squeezed fresh lime over the soup and my son was laughing and smiling while eating it. It was cheap and easy to make.
I promise it won't take two years for me to write again because this is fun :) I hope to be back early next week.
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