I have been torn because I try to keep this blog fun. I did write about my miscarriage but I want this to be a fun place. Also this is public and I know some of you.
If you know me you know I am a worrier and I have depression and ocd. The anxiety comes from years of bad experiences.
I won't go into details or name names. I could but I won't. Years of therapy and the focus was who are the men and lets go bring pitchforks to their homes and seek justice have left me uneasy. For me I want to walk down the street without wanting to cry if a man looks at me. I want to have a conversation with a male coworker without having to avoid his eyes. I want to not project my fears onto my daughter.
I have reasons for not talking about my past. One attacker got caught but for attacking someone else. I did come forward in college and was told it was my fault. I was then told by the counselor that she heard I had pursued him a year prior (fabrication) so all of this was my doing and I had to live with it. Then there was a former coworker after an event where several work associates went to a bar. It turns out this coworker had done similar things to other female coworkers. And almost exclusively in group settings.
It is hard to tell people, often strangers, that you were harmed because you have to be specific. I learned the hard way there is backlash and my attackers were just ordinary men. In college the fallout was worse than the event. Girls came up to me in awe that I was "with" the attacker. Boys were jealous because I turned them down prior to and post the incident and they were incessant in their frustration of my continued refusuals of their advances. No matter how often I said the truth was not what they thought I was never believed.
It is a problem how victims are treated. We are scared and ashamed. We don't want attention. We just want no one to go through what we endured. I personally don't want to have to triple check every outfit I put on wondering if I will get undue attention. I would like help healing. I have had night terrors for over twenty years and would like eight hours of peaceful rest.
So now we victims are coming out indroves. We are an army. Now what? Will anything change? Will our collective nightmares make an impact this week only to be swept back under the rug next week?
I do have to say I feel better. I have kept some of these thoughts inside way too long. This was all very personal. Thank you for reading. I do hope more people can get punished for these crimes they are committing. I also do sincerely hope that as we stand up and share our stories that less women feel isolated. We can help people understand how wrong it is and hopefully one day soon this widespread abuse will stop.
Monday, October 16, 2017
Sunday, October 15, 2017
Sorry but waiting in the Emergency Room may be a Good Thing.
I wrote earlier this week that I moved to Maine and am not working full time. The good news is that I work doing switchboard and emergancy room registration. The excellent news is that I want to provide excellent customer service before you go the er the next time by telling you what I have learned. At the bottom of my post I am putting a link to a cracked.com article that deals with the same topic.
Before I get started I want to share this absolutely amazing video that is about empathy. When you go to a hospital literally everyone has a story. Every person who walks in the door and every employee has a story. I am writing this post as a way to help not tear down. Unless you work in a hospital it is hard to understand why you are waiting or what is happening behind closed doors. WARNING: THIS VIDEO WILL MAKE YOU WANT TO CRY BUT WATCH IT ANYWAY BECAUSE IT IS AMAZING. https://youtu.be/cDDWvj_q-o8
1. I am not clinical.
Sorry I am not clinical. I am here to greet you and then either direct you to the department you need, point you to the sign in sheet to get you into the er, or register you for lab work/radiology. I also answer the phones. I do not know if you have a rash or a burn. I can give you a puke bucket but cannot give you medication. I was hired for my customer service skills. The nurse or Doctor in the er has medical training and they will be able to triage you effectively.
Even though I am not clinical I still care. I applied for and accepted this job knowing I would be helping people because I want to. When you come in the door and you are hurt or scared or sick I want you to be met by a friendly compassionate person. I will do what I can to assure you that you are being heard and you will be assisted.
2. Waiting is not always a bad thing nor is it intentional.
When you go to the emergency room and you see no one in the waiting room you might be surprised when you have a wait. Please don't ever take that wait personally. When you check into the er there is a process flow. At the hospital I work at; for example, you give basic demographic information (name/date of birth) and why you are coming in to be seen. I then enter you into the computer system. If you are having a literal life or death emergency I will call the nurses station or run down a hallway and flag down the first person wearing scrubs. There is also a camera behind me and in the waiting room that can be seen at the nurses station. Once I enter you into the system the nurses know you are in the hospital. I also have 2 to 5 minutes once you tell or hand me your information to put your information in the computer. I type 70 wpm. The nurses know you are waiting.
Now comes the tricky part. Emergency rooms have ambulance bays and a set number of beds. The waiting room could be empty but maybe we had six ambulances pull up. Or maybe we have 4 heart attacks happening. Or maybe a patient in crisis hit a nurse. If someone is coding the clinical staff will be detained. Again; if you are having a life or death literal emergency you will get ushered in quickly. I have seen every bed but 2 full and then an ambulance pull up and six people come in the door back to back. I cannot tell you every bed is full but we are a first come first served establishment. The clinical staff does there best to triage quickly and keep patients moving. Everyone wants to help you, but you may have to wait.
3. You may have to wait to see a loved one. Especially if they came by ambulance.
I always feel bad about telling a loved one it will be a few minutes but it could be up to a half hour before they can see a patient. When an ambulance arrives the clinical staff immediately beings working. When a patient who walks in and gets assigned to a bed it is the same. There are tests to be ordered. Maybe the patient must be brought to radiology. Maybe an IV is being hooked up. Maybe labs are being drawn. Sometimes the exam room can only hold two or three visitors and there are already four visitors in the room. I have heard some patients refuse visitors. When you come to visit I will notify the nursing staff with the same urgency as if you are a patient. It is most likely a message in the computer or a phone call to the nurses station. The nurse will get you as soon as they can or as soon as your loved one gets back to their room. I know you are worried and I want to help. I know you are upset and I want to help.
3. If there is a wait and you want to leave.
Please be patient. Once you check in you are getting billed. I also do not know wait times at other hospitals but if they have an ambulance bay like us it varies on a minute to minute basis. The nurses know you are here. Once I enter you in the system your medical history pops up. A wristband prints with any allergies. The clinical staff makes preperations to begin triaging you even if you are waiting. You will be seen.
Thank you for reading this post. I hope it helps alleviate some stress when waiting at the er.
http://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-1974-we-dont-have-to-treat-you-6-realities-inside-er.html
Before I get started I want to share this absolutely amazing video that is about empathy. When you go to a hospital literally everyone has a story. Every person who walks in the door and every employee has a story. I am writing this post as a way to help not tear down. Unless you work in a hospital it is hard to understand why you are waiting or what is happening behind closed doors. WARNING: THIS VIDEO WILL MAKE YOU WANT TO CRY BUT WATCH IT ANYWAY BECAUSE IT IS AMAZING. https://youtu.be/cDDWvj_q-o8
1. I am not clinical.
Sorry I am not clinical. I am here to greet you and then either direct you to the department you need, point you to the sign in sheet to get you into the er, or register you for lab work/radiology. I also answer the phones. I do not know if you have a rash or a burn. I can give you a puke bucket but cannot give you medication. I was hired for my customer service skills. The nurse or Doctor in the er has medical training and they will be able to triage you effectively.
Even though I am not clinical I still care. I applied for and accepted this job knowing I would be helping people because I want to. When you come in the door and you are hurt or scared or sick I want you to be met by a friendly compassionate person. I will do what I can to assure you that you are being heard and you will be assisted.
2. Waiting is not always a bad thing nor is it intentional.
When you go to the emergency room and you see no one in the waiting room you might be surprised when you have a wait. Please don't ever take that wait personally. When you check into the er there is a process flow. At the hospital I work at; for example, you give basic demographic information (name/date of birth) and why you are coming in to be seen. I then enter you into the computer system. If you are having a literal life or death emergency I will call the nurses station or run down a hallway and flag down the first person wearing scrubs. There is also a camera behind me and in the waiting room that can be seen at the nurses station. Once I enter you into the system the nurses know you are in the hospital. I also have 2 to 5 minutes once you tell or hand me your information to put your information in the computer. I type 70 wpm. The nurses know you are waiting.
Now comes the tricky part. Emergency rooms have ambulance bays and a set number of beds. The waiting room could be empty but maybe we had six ambulances pull up. Or maybe we have 4 heart attacks happening. Or maybe a patient in crisis hit a nurse. If someone is coding the clinical staff will be detained. Again; if you are having a life or death literal emergency you will get ushered in quickly. I have seen every bed but 2 full and then an ambulance pull up and six people come in the door back to back. I cannot tell you every bed is full but we are a first come first served establishment. The clinical staff does there best to triage quickly and keep patients moving. Everyone wants to help you, but you may have to wait.
3. You may have to wait to see a loved one. Especially if they came by ambulance.
I always feel bad about telling a loved one it will be a few minutes but it could be up to a half hour before they can see a patient. When an ambulance arrives the clinical staff immediately beings working. When a patient who walks in and gets assigned to a bed it is the same. There are tests to be ordered. Maybe the patient must be brought to radiology. Maybe an IV is being hooked up. Maybe labs are being drawn. Sometimes the exam room can only hold two or three visitors and there are already four visitors in the room. I have heard some patients refuse visitors. When you come to visit I will notify the nursing staff with the same urgency as if you are a patient. It is most likely a message in the computer or a phone call to the nurses station. The nurse will get you as soon as they can or as soon as your loved one gets back to their room. I know you are worried and I want to help. I know you are upset and I want to help.
3. If there is a wait and you want to leave.
Please be patient. Once you check in you are getting billed. I also do not know wait times at other hospitals but if they have an ambulance bay like us it varies on a minute to minute basis. The nurses know you are here. Once I enter you in the system your medical history pops up. A wristband prints with any allergies. The clinical staff makes preperations to begin triaging you even if you are waiting. You will be seen.
Thank you for reading this post. I hope it helps alleviate some stress when waiting at the er.
http://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-1974-we-dont-have-to-treat-you-6-realities-inside-er.html
Finally positive steps in the right direction. Potty training hints. VA vs. SSI rant
Wow. What a long strange year it has been.
So last fall I started looking for an apartment in Maine and my employer in RI was nice enough to close our department down so I didn't have to worry about quiting. On Dec. 1 we moved to Maine. Following an administrative nightmare A. finally began school and day treatment at Woodford's Family Services. This school has been a blessing. A. is sociable, calmer, better at motor skills, and has made improvements all around. He is using PECS at school and to some success at home. I could not be happier. He has pt/ot/speech at school. I know some parents are hesitant to put their children in schools/classrooms that are strictly special needs but these teachers are specalized. They can more effectively work with behaviors.
The best part of the move is he is so much happier. Woonsocket, RI was a never ending cacophony. Here in our sleeepy Maine town we don't have to non-stop din and dischord. I had trouble sleeping the first six months due to the lack of sirens, yelling, fireworks (or what sounded like air strikes/gunfire). For a toddler with sensory processing issues moving to a quiet area has helped tremendously. He no longer has an anxious look on his face in the evening. He has no reason to come running for a hug when a car is blasting music. He doesn't wake up screaming due to people engaged in shouting matches outside at 2 am.
I finally broke down on my no meds stance and allowed a script for vegetable based melatonin to be filled. Nighttime was too chaotic. He would either stay awake until 2 am or tearfully surrender to uneasy slumbet to wake up in a bad mood at 3 am. The melatonin so far has mixed results. Thankfully we do not have the paradoxial effect. About a half hour after his dose is administered he gets sleepy and will lay down. Most nights he sleeps until 6 or 7 am. Some nights he still has a hard time falling asleep but those nights are now an exception to the rule. Melatonin is a sleep aid that is probably safer in its natural form but it might not be for everyone.
His school offers case managers who will facilitate home based therapy which we desperately need. After a two part intake which took place here at home we got put on the waiting list. Although Maine in general has a long waiting list, this area has a short waiting time. The case manager is also going to try to get A. music therapy because music captivates and calms him. Because A. still has problems with the baby we will also have a behavior therapist observe them both and offer solutions to encourage a positive sibling relationship.
One constant issue we have had for about the last two years is mornings seem to be a surprise. A. has gone to school since April 2016 so the reutine is more or less the same. Up. Clean up. Eat. Clean up again. Get dressed. Wait for bus. Almost every morning this confuses him. He gets upset and has meltdowns almost everyday. The only days he avoids meltdowns in the morning is on non-school days. I think that is because we get to move a little slower. The case manager said this is actually typical autistic behavior. When autistic children wake up it is like 50 First Dates for the beginning part of the morning. This surprised me because repetition is essential for people with autism. I have adjusted the morning reutine to allow for more time to get ready to see if that helps.
Our new pediatrician is amazing. He offered two potty training tips I cannot wait to share.
1. It is easier to have a bowel movement if you can brace your feet againt something solid and harder if your feet are dangling. On the Doctor's suggestion we got A. a stool.
2. The pediatrician said to give A. a pinwheel to blow on the potty. The action of exhaling moves the muscles that makes having a bowel movement easier. Due to A's cicumstances this doesn't help but it might help others.
I have been hesitant to get A. signed up for SSI because he is 4 but honestly since I can't work full time the income would be a tremendous help. I completed the lenthy questionaire and then had the equally lengthy phone interview. One of the questions was about veteran status. I answered the question honestly. I went through basic training then in tech school I hyperventailated then fainted while running. After a medical exam I was diagnosed as having asthema. I still feel it was running in April in Texas while wearing sweats but thats another issue. The representative at the social security administration then told me it sounds like I am a veteran because I was in the military during a time of war. I said I most definetly am not a veteran. I told her I never served and then told her the story of TSG a brave Army soldier who almost lost his life in Afganistan and people like him are veterans. I told her about B. who was in the service 20 years and my Grandfather who served in WWII and his brother who fought at D-Day. Those are veterans. I was sent home from a med hold flight. Well red tape won and I had to file a pension claim with the VA. If I am fortunate my claim will have an answer by 2/18/2018. Maybe. I honestly feel compassion for the claims rep who got assigned my paperwork. Actual people have real claims and I just am forced to do this so my son can get SSI. It feels like a waste of time and resources. I hope my son's claim doesn't get closed because of this horribly ineffective system.
Hopefully will post again soon
So last fall I started looking for an apartment in Maine and my employer in RI was nice enough to close our department down so I didn't have to worry about quiting. On Dec. 1 we moved to Maine. Following an administrative nightmare A. finally began school and day treatment at Woodford's Family Services. This school has been a blessing. A. is sociable, calmer, better at motor skills, and has made improvements all around. He is using PECS at school and to some success at home. I could not be happier. He has pt/ot/speech at school. I know some parents are hesitant to put their children in schools/classrooms that are strictly special needs but these teachers are specalized. They can more effectively work with behaviors.
The best part of the move is he is so much happier. Woonsocket, RI was a never ending cacophony. Here in our sleeepy Maine town we don't have to non-stop din and dischord. I had trouble sleeping the first six months due to the lack of sirens, yelling, fireworks (or what sounded like air strikes/gunfire). For a toddler with sensory processing issues moving to a quiet area has helped tremendously. He no longer has an anxious look on his face in the evening. He has no reason to come running for a hug when a car is blasting music. He doesn't wake up screaming due to people engaged in shouting matches outside at 2 am.
I finally broke down on my no meds stance and allowed a script for vegetable based melatonin to be filled. Nighttime was too chaotic. He would either stay awake until 2 am or tearfully surrender to uneasy slumbet to wake up in a bad mood at 3 am. The melatonin so far has mixed results. Thankfully we do not have the paradoxial effect. About a half hour after his dose is administered he gets sleepy and will lay down. Most nights he sleeps until 6 or 7 am. Some nights he still has a hard time falling asleep but those nights are now an exception to the rule. Melatonin is a sleep aid that is probably safer in its natural form but it might not be for everyone.
His school offers case managers who will facilitate home based therapy which we desperately need. After a two part intake which took place here at home we got put on the waiting list. Although Maine in general has a long waiting list, this area has a short waiting time. The case manager is also going to try to get A. music therapy because music captivates and calms him. Because A. still has problems with the baby we will also have a behavior therapist observe them both and offer solutions to encourage a positive sibling relationship.
One constant issue we have had for about the last two years is mornings seem to be a surprise. A. has gone to school since April 2016 so the reutine is more or less the same. Up. Clean up. Eat. Clean up again. Get dressed. Wait for bus. Almost every morning this confuses him. He gets upset and has meltdowns almost everyday. The only days he avoids meltdowns in the morning is on non-school days. I think that is because we get to move a little slower. The case manager said this is actually typical autistic behavior. When autistic children wake up it is like 50 First Dates for the beginning part of the morning. This surprised me because repetition is essential for people with autism. I have adjusted the morning reutine to allow for more time to get ready to see if that helps.
Our new pediatrician is amazing. He offered two potty training tips I cannot wait to share.
1. It is easier to have a bowel movement if you can brace your feet againt something solid and harder if your feet are dangling. On the Doctor's suggestion we got A. a stool.
2. The pediatrician said to give A. a pinwheel to blow on the potty. The action of exhaling moves the muscles that makes having a bowel movement easier. Due to A's cicumstances this doesn't help but it might help others.
I have been hesitant to get A. signed up for SSI because he is 4 but honestly since I can't work full time the income would be a tremendous help. I completed the lenthy questionaire and then had the equally lengthy phone interview. One of the questions was about veteran status. I answered the question honestly. I went through basic training then in tech school I hyperventailated then fainted while running. After a medical exam I was diagnosed as having asthema. I still feel it was running in April in Texas while wearing sweats but thats another issue. The representative at the social security administration then told me it sounds like I am a veteran because I was in the military during a time of war. I said I most definetly am not a veteran. I told her I never served and then told her the story of TSG a brave Army soldier who almost lost his life in Afganistan and people like him are veterans. I told her about B. who was in the service 20 years and my Grandfather who served in WWII and his brother who fought at D-Day. Those are veterans. I was sent home from a med hold flight. Well red tape won and I had to file a pension claim with the VA. If I am fortunate my claim will have an answer by 2/18/2018. Maybe. I honestly feel compassion for the claims rep who got assigned my paperwork. Actual people have real claims and I just am forced to do this so my son can get SSI. It feels like a waste of time and resources. I hope my son's claim doesn't get closed because of this horribly ineffective system.
Hopefully will post again soon
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