Finally positive steps in the right direction. Potty training hints. VA vs. SSI rant

Wow. What a long strange year it has been.

So last fall I started looking for an apartment in Maine and my employer in RI was nice enough to close our department down so I didn't have to worry about quiting. On Dec. 1 we moved to Maine. Following an administrative nightmare A. finally began school and day treatment at Woodford's Family Services. This school has been a blessing. A. is sociable, calmer, better at motor skills, and has made improvements all around. He is using PECS at school and to some success at home. I could not be happier. He has pt/ot/speech at school.   I know some parents are hesitant to put their children in schools/classrooms that are strictly special needs but these teachers are specalized.  They can more effectively work with behaviors.

The best part of the move is he is so much happier. Woonsocket, RI was a never ending cacophony.  Here in our sleeepy Maine town we don't have to non-stop din and dischord.  I had trouble sleeping the first six months due to the lack of sirens, yelling, fireworks (or what sounded like air strikes/gunfire). For a toddler with sensory processing issues moving to a quiet area has helped tremendously. He no longer has an anxious look on his face in the evening. He has no reason to come running for a hug when a car is blasting music. He doesn't wake up screaming due to people engaged in shouting matches outside at 2 am.

I finally broke down on my no meds stance and allowed a script for vegetable based melatonin to be filled. Nighttime was too chaotic. He would either stay awake until 2 am or tearfully surrender to uneasy slumbet to wake up in a bad mood at 3 am.  The melatonin so far has mixed results. Thankfully we do not have the paradoxial effect.  About a half hour after his dose is administered he gets sleepy and will lay down. Most nights he sleeps until 6 or 7 am. Some nights he still has a hard time falling asleep but those nights are now an exception to the rule.  Melatonin is a sleep aid that is probably safer in its natural form but it might not be for everyone.


His school offers case managers who will facilitate home based therapy which we desperately need. After a two part intake which took place here at home we got put on the waiting list. Although Maine in general has a long waiting list, this area has a short waiting time.  The case manager is also going to try to get A. music therapy because music captivates and calms him. Because A. still has problems with the baby we will also have a behavior therapist observe them both and offer solutions to encourage a positive sibling relationship.

One constant issue we have had for about the last two years is mornings seem to be a surprise. A. has gone to school since April 2016 so the reutine is more or less the same. Up. Clean up. Eat. Clean up again. Get dressed. Wait for bus. Almost every morning this confuses him. He gets upset and has meltdowns almost everyday. The only days he avoids meltdowns in the morning is on non-school days. I think that is because we get to move a little slower.  The case manager said this is actually typical autistic behavior. When autistic children wake up it is like 50 First Dates for the beginning part of the morning. This surprised me because repetition is essential for people with autism. I have adjusted the morning reutine to allow for more time to get ready to see if that helps.

Our new pediatrician is amazing. He offered two potty training tips I cannot wait to share.
1.  It is easier to have a bowel movement if you can brace your feet againt something solid and harder if your feet are dangling. On the Doctor's suggestion we got A. a stool.
2.  The pediatrician said to give A. a pinwheel to blow on the potty. The action of exhaling moves the muscles that makes having a bowel movement easier. Due to A's cicumstances this doesn't help but it might help others.

I have been hesitant to get A. signed up for SSI because he is 4 but honestly since I can't work full time the income would be a tremendous help. I completed the lenthy questionaire and then had the equally lengthy phone interview. One of the questions was about veteran status. I answered the question honestly. I went through basic training then in tech school I hyperventailated then fainted while running. After a medical exam I was diagnosed as having asthema. I still feel it was running in April in Texas while wearing sweats but thats another issue.  The representative at the social security administration then told me it sounds like I am a veteran because I was in the military during a time of war. I said I most definetly am not a veteran. I told her I never served and then told her the story of TSG a brave Army soldier who almost lost his life in Afganistan and people like him are veterans. I told her about B. who was in the service 20 years and my Grandfather who served in WWII and his brother who fought at D-Day. Those are veterans. I was sent home from a med hold flight.  Well red tape won and I had to file a pension claim with the VA. If I am fortunate my claim will have an answer by 2/18/2018. Maybe.  I honestly feel compassion for the claims rep who got assigned my paperwork. Actual people have real claims and I just am forced to do this so my son can get SSI. It feels like a waste of time and resources. I hope my son's claim doesn't get closed because of this horribly ineffective system.

Hopefully will post again soon