Thursday, August 27, 2015

My Brief Venture into being a Foster Parent

Back in June it became known to me that someone I went to high school with had a baby in need of being fostered. I have posted that I have had miscarriages in the past and I desire to have another child. Having a child with developmental delays is stressful so I thought rather than having him and a newborn, having him and an eleven month old would work out.

The case worker came out to the apartment and said the foster child and my son would be perfect play companions and then I never heard from her again. I called repeatedly and finally I emailed her. The case had been transferred and she gave me the contact information of caseworker number two.

Number 2 took almost two months to return my calls. I left dozens of voicmails indicating that whatever paperwork needed to be done I would be more than happy to begin as soon as possible. We threw away furniture my son's room and donated some of his toys and clothes to make room for the foster child. We even got a bag of stuffed animals, clothes, and books for her to welcome her home. We had a friend who had a brand new crib and was just waiting to bring it by the house. Due to my husband getting laid off in October, I started looking for work and found a job. I had a start date and enrolled my son in daycare.  Finally I got the call! The baby urgently needed to be placed. Could I enroll her in daycare ASAP, oh and no she can't go where my son is going because he is going to a daycare out of state ?  I  was on the case! I called over 100 daycares within a 10 mile radius. If the answered, either they were not licensed, the infant rooms were full, or the hours would not work. Finally I found a place that could take her 3 days a week. I found a friend that could watch her the other two days. My husband will be losing his job soon, and he is looking for a second or third shift job anyway so we don't have to keep our son in daycare. He could watch both kids. Well, turns out my friend didn't pass the background check. I called 100  plus more day cares, centers, and professional nannies. Oddly not one place passed a background check. I finally found a daycare that would take the baby. Oddly enough she could not enroll the baby without meeting the baby, per state regulations, but the caseworker would not us have the baby if we could not enroll her in daycare. Also, my mother who is an RN and routinely performs treatments on infants and toddlers could not pass a background check. I got a very brief email stating I do not qualify to be a foster parent.
I am still stunned. The EI coordinator several times she would vouch for me and my husband since EI is here several times a week.  It is routinely seen in the news that foster children have been abused or neglected by their foster families. We have proven that we can raise a happy child and have been demonstrating this for over two years now. We would have loved to have had her in our home. Hopefully one day we can get approved. I  am not saying the caseworker didn't do her job but I  still can't understand how a RN who works with children cannot pass a background check.